Nickelback sucks more than usual lately.

James' Website

October 12, 2007

Nickelback sucks more than usual lately.

Nickelback has all the qualities of a band people love to hate:

They're a mainstream rock band, so they get no cred for being underground or obscure.
They're fabulously successful, which makes them a big target.
They can write a power chorus, but it doesn't save their music from a pervasive sort of blandness.
Their songs are formulaic to the point that they can actually be played alongside each other. See for yourself:

Damn, audio removed by copyright claim. Suffice to say, some of their tunes can be played together at the same time and they match up bar for bar.

Because of these qualities, making fun of them is so easy that it seems kind of unfair and I generally avoid it. What can you say that hasn't been said? Why not just let these simple Canadians be millionaire rock stars and let it go?

But then they have to go and make a song so lame it threatens your sanity just to sit through it. And this song has no problem getting regular airplay seemingly everywhere I go. I heard it in Sears the other day for the love of Pete.

Allow me set the scene: the band members are sitting around in a posh studio lounge discussing the lyrics for a hot new track. Suddenly Ryan pipes in.

"Oh my God guys. I just got an amazing idea. What if... oh my God this is just too mindblowing. What if everyone cared?"

The band members are taken aback. Chad is the first to speak. "You mean, what if all of us in the band cared?"

Ryan stands up. "No dude. Everyone in the world."

A gasp echoes through the room. "That would change the whole world!" cries Brandon.

"Not only that," says Chad, "but it rhymes with 'if everyone shared.'."

Ryan is so overcome with emotion that he vomits into a nearby trashcan.

"Gentlemen," pronounces Brandon, "We've done it again."

It's not like these guys have day jobs. They have all day to work out some lyrics to go with their songs. Okay, rant over. Sorry Nickelback, I had to vent.

Add a Comment

I agree!

Posted by chad (66.207.120.131) on Monday, October 15 2007 at 2:41 PM

I have always thought Nickelback sucks, I never thought they were 'good'. When I first heard them I saw no difference between them and the formulas used for Britney and the Backstreet Boys.

It is a shame that they are on the Canada Walk of Fame, but now it gives me something to aim at when taking a piss after a long night out at the bars.

Wow

Posted by Brooke (24.231.183.116) on Monday, December 31 2007 at 5:54 PM

I cannot think of how wrong you both are...
Nickelback will forever and for always be one of my favorite bands.
I don't understand your feelings.

But I guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

agree

Posted by JBC (24.109.72.123) on Tuesday, January 27 2009 at 7:42 PM

From a musicians point of view, Nickleback are very uncreative and acually quite boring to both listen to and watch. They definatly lack creative song writing abilities not to mention origionality! I have witnessed many bands and other musicians who are far superior in both musical talent and performance and yet struggle to make it big. It pisses me off. Seriously! Have you ever seen a nickleback show? Absolutly horribly unentertaining!!!

Stupid Nickleback

Posted by Ryan (24.109.72.123) on Thursday, January 29 2009 at 12:48 PM

Nickleback does have the potential to be good!! They should replace their singer, who's voice has no character what so ever. (sounds like 100 other crappy alternative rock singers who we've all already heard!) Either hire someone to write the music for them or fire who ever is doing it now!! Then replace the other members with musicians who actually have some stage presence. (Notice I said " Musicians") It would also be a good idea to lose the shitty name Nickleback!!

chad sucks

Posted by mike (216.129.193.67) on Wednesday, February 04 2009 at 4:58 PM

one day my daughter was over heard singing the lyrics to "wanna be a rock star" she was eleven. i chose to not react. it has not happenend agian. since that day i have hoped for chad to have many daughters. i dream of Chad on his Knees asking me to please stop beating his head in with a hammer. for a joke i sign up buddies on the Nickelback Fan Club.
Pictures of Chad look not to Bad there. Like they have been altered. Oh well what do i expect from a guy that admits to sucking himself for beer.

Oh they do suck...

Posted by ME (142.201.5.100) on Friday, February 06 2009 at 2:22 PM

Normally I don't even like to think about Nickelback, or mention their name in my daily conversation. They are shit, and exposing yourself to shit just can't be good for your health!!! But one interesting comment I hear about this band regularly is that they are "Sell-outs".
Maybe I misunderstand the term "sell-out", but as much as I hate Nickelback I must say they aren't sell-outs! They had no moral integrity to begin with, so they really had nothing to sell? And they have been steadily releasing crappy music for 10+ years. So if anything, they are sticking to their guns and doing what they do best.. Sucking!
I guess if they started wearing baggy pants, sampling 80's drum beats and using a DJ to scratch on their new album... well, then maybe they would be considered sell-outs (to all those Pig farmers out in Alberta at least).
So thank you Nickelback for continuing to suck. At least you haven't sold out! Now please go DIE!

Most boring band

Posted by Roli rivers (70.31.41.129) on Wednesday, December 16 2009 at 6:48 PM

I think this guys have no talent at all, yes nickelback,i am a musician myself and this band has no creativity or vision.. they are so boring, all their songs sound the same and i think that,s why they keep winning their pathetic junos which by the way none cares about, Chad has the worst voice in history,i am in complete shock that this guys are still making this crappy music.and its true their are so boring and there,s absolutely no entertaining in it. what a shame for these guys..!~

just brutal

Posted by steve (207.47.231.66) on Tuesday, February 23 2010 at 11:49 AM

I want to kill myself every time I heard the dull, bland and uninspired sounds of Nickelback.